Welcome to Grandma's House of Blog. Home of all things politically incorrect. You can be young once, but immature forever.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Heard Around Town

Its time for another edition of Heard Around Town. Thank you to everyone who e-mailed me jokes. If you don't see your joke posted I'll try and get to it next week.

Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a plastic bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

Q: What do you call 15 blonds in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What is the first sign of AIDS?
A: A pounding sensation in the ass.

Q: What do men in Japan do when they have an erection?
A: They vote.

Q: What do Catherine the Great, Atilla the Hun, and Bozo the Clown have in common?
A: Same middle name.

Q: What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A: They both live off dead Beatles.

Q: Why does a woman cry with joy when she walks down the marriage aisle?
A: She realizes that she gave her last blowjob.

Q: What is the new politically correct term for "lesbian"?
A: Vagitarian.

Quotables

"My wife was afraid of the dark.....then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." (Rodney Dangerfield, RIP)

"There are two things in the world that smell like fish, and one of them's fish."

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

SPOTW

Visiting the toilet can be a costly business as a man in Germany discovered when he stopped to relieve himself and forgot 30,000 euros ($36,800) he was taking to the bank for his bosses, authorities said Monday.
Police said the 29-year-old took five minutes to realize he had left the envelope containing the cash inside a plastic bag on the floor of the public toilet. But when he returned, the bag was gone. "He wasn't insured and it looks like he will be liable," said a police spokesman in the town of Aschaffenburg, southeast of Frankfurt. "We're always a bit suspicious when we hear these kinds of stories but this one appears to be genuine."

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