Welcome to Grandma's House of Blog. Home of all things politically incorrect. You can be young once, but immature forever.

Friday, July 22, 2005


Recently, because of the London attacks, the NYPD and MTA police have begun doing random checks of bags and packages in the NY subway system. New York's subways carry about 4.5 million passengers on the average weekday, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. The system, the largest in the country, has more than 468 stations, most of which have multiple entrances, and during rush hours the flood of humanity in and out of key stations can be overwhelming.William K. Williams, a 56-year-old Manhattan resident who rides the train every day, said the searches would frustrate New Yorkers."Sometimes you need to get to an appointment, you're running late and a cop stops you to delay you even further? That's going to create a mess," said Williams, who was carrying a briefcase outside the Brooklyn Bridge subway station.

Well, William, how much of a delay and inconvenience will it be if a bomb goes off? Some people just don't get it. How late will you be to your appointment if you are dead? The mentality of some New Yorkers is just surreal. They think they are bulletproof.

Until it happens to them...

Monday, July 18, 2005

$1000 McShopping Spree

How does a round of golf and a craving for McDonald's turn into a $1000 shopping spree?

Let me share.

My friend and I finished playing golf around 2pm on Sunday. We hadn't eaten all day and on the way home I decided that I had a craving for McDonald's. Not Wendy's. Not Burger King. McDonald's. So, after passing several fast food places on our way to get back onto the highway, I notice the Tangier Outlet center, where, uh huh, I happen to know they have a McDonald's. Now for those of youthat aren't from arounf here, the Tangier Outlet center is a GINORMOUS shopping center made up of Tangier I and Tangier II. After convincing my friend that I needed to pick up "a few things" at Old Navy, we turned into the outlet center and headed straight to food. After parking the car where I thought was near the food court, we walked a half-mile to the food court to find that there was no McDonald's. We end up eating the most digusting pizza ever, and now have realized that Old Navy is in Tangier II and we have to get back in the car and drive there.

Ready, Aim, Shop.

We make our way to the other shopping center to find you guessed it, McDonald's, right where it belongs, next to Old Navy. Now 30 minutes and 2 crappy slices of pizza later, I am a little annoyed and ready to shop. First we hit the NIKE outlet. Where I find out that new golf shoes are not actually $119, but $49.99. So I buy a pair, even though my current golf shoes are not completely falling apart yet. Then I buy a few other items and I "escape" from NIKE with $130 spent. $130 and I first have to go to Old Navy which is like my favorite store. We get there and there are huge back to school sales. Even though I am not going back to school I decided to take advantage. 40% off of lots of things. I bought like 40 items and upon checking out found out that if you apply for the store credit card and you buy over $125 of stuff you get an additional $25 off the whole bill.

Sign me up.

My entire bill was $163. I felt like I robbed the place. Now I need shoes. Off to Sketcher's. 1 pair of work shoes, 1 pair or everyday shoes, 1 pair of sandals, $98. Pretty freakin' good. So I look at my friend and decide that my wife is going to kill me. He looks at me and says "just make sure she knows this wasn't my idea." So I decide to ease the pain I should pick up something for her. I look up and there is Movado. 30 minutes and one "time piece" later, and I have a beatiful shiny new "I love you" gift. I just still want to know at what price a watch becomes a "time piece". That my friends is how you spend $1000 on a McDonald's craving.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Stupid Observations

So I am at the gas station this morning buying my morning scratch off ticket hoping that one day I can turn my car around and NOT go to work when I overheard this gem: "I'll have a pack of Carltun's...*pause*...In a box". Now I am no genius and I acknowledge that I did quit smoking like 7 months ago, but last I checked, cigarettes don't come any other way. Have you ever seen cigarettes in a can or a jar? Ever see the guy behind the counter give them to someone loose in a bag? Me either. So why the hell is it necessary to request them "in a box" when that is the only way you can have them in the first place?

The other interesting observation of the moment is that I just heard they may delay the space shuttle launch until September. Yesterday they were saying it was going to be delayed because of bad weather, so my initial thought was that they can't possibly be having bad weather from now until September, and that is when I found out there was a faulty fuel gauge and that is why I think this is stupid. The fuel guage says empty but its really full. So if they already know that the fuel tank is full, who cares that the guage says empty. What the hell is the difference? Say they are out in space and someone notices the fuel guage says empty. What are they going to do stop and fill up? The amount of fuel in the tank is obviously enough to get them there and back so why does it matter what the gauge says? I don't know either.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Insurance Fraud

As I get older and wiser and more in tune with my grown-up side, I notice certain things that I don't particularly like or agree with. Most of these things can't be changed. Like the fact that weekends will never be three days long during non-holiday situations. I have to deal with that.

But what I have to deal with and am being forced to deal with are two different things. In my opinion, insurance is the biggest scam going, and EVERYONE I have spoken to, including people that work for insurance companies agree with me. If you read this and agree or disagree, please leave a comment because with numbers, maybe we can do something about this. With your comment, leave your e-mail address, together hopefully we can stop the fraud being committed by these insurance companies and we can make a difference.

Let's have a little fun with the four major types of insurance: Auto, Medical, Life, and Homeowner's. Shall we??

Auto Insurance:

First off, I must admit that I have not had any problems with my auto insurance in the past few years. That is probably because I have not had to use them for anything and they just keep stealing my money. I pay $1650 a year for a service that I don't use. Well, at least haven't used in a while (Knock on wood). The last time I tried to use my insurance was when I was 20 and got into a really bad car accident. I was driving straight and a Corvette, driving on the opposite side of the road trying to make a left, decides to floor it and beat me to the point of where he was making the turn. (bear in mind there was nobody visibly behind me). So instead of waiting a few seconds for me to pass and make his left turn, the jackass floors it and SPLAT! Front of my car looked like an accordian and you couldn't tell if his car was a corvette or an accord. Both of us walked away unhurt (somehow). Now this guy comes over and says how he owns a body shop and lets go to his place and take care of it. Obviously I told him he was crazy because I was young and had't had the experience of getting my car wrecked or dealing with insurance companies. So I started getting to the point where I was going to beat the hell out of the guy and demanded that police get involved and we go through insurance. He didn't want to go through insurance but I was having it. After all, why should I care about him, it was all his fault and there is no possible way this could go any way but in my favor. So after 30 minutes of arguing with this guy, the cop finally shows up and we end up going through insurance. About a week later, I get a phone call from some woman at the insurance company that went something like this:

ME: Hello?

Woman: Hi, is this Craig?

ME: Yes

Woman: Hi, I am the stupid fucking cunt from the insurance company, how are you today?

ME: Um, ok, what is going on?

SFCFTIC: I am the adjuster and I just wanted to let you know your accident claim has been approved for 70%.

ME: 70% of what?

SFCFTIC: The total damage of your car.

ME: What do you mean only 70%? This guy crashed into me.

SFCFTIC: Well, from the angle of the damage and from the information in the police report, I have determined that you could have avoided this accident.

ME: Silence

SFCFTIC: Sir, hello?

ME: Are you fucking kidding me? You weren't even there. What qualifies you to assess the damage of an accident that you weren't even at?

SFCFTIC: That is my job sir.

ME: Well make it your job to go find my other 30% because this wasn't my fault.

SFCFTIC: I'm sorry sir, it has already been processed at 70%. You will have to pay the other 30% of the damage.

ME: I don't know how you can go home and look yourself in the face. Have a great fucking night.

My first major issue with this is how somebody that isn't present at an accident qualified to make an assessment of the damage? This accident was clearly no fault of mine and I got 70%. Complete bullshit. My second major issue was they then raised my rates because I used my insurance.

Uh huh.

So I pay $1650 to the insurance company, so that if by chance somebody crashes into me, somebody that wasn't at my accident will determine that I only deserve to be reimbursed for 70% of the damages, and then I get my rates raised after having to pay 30% of my damage out of my pocket.

Don't even get a speeding ticket. Rates get raised for that too, because you are a higher risk to them of having an accident. Lets not mention that when you get a ticket you don't use your insurance for any reason. Like if someone is going 40MPH in a 30MPH zone.

Because someone driving 40 is a huge risk of getting into an accident right?

So now, someone gets a speeding ticket for going 40 in a 30, and now their insurance rates go up when they didn't use their insurance for any reason. And if that ticket was in the same year as your accident, they can drop you if they want.

Basically, we are paying for a service that most of us never use and if we should need it for any reason, it gets more expensive, and in some cases they drop you altogether. But what happens when we don't use our insurance for a year? How about people that don't use their insurance for 5 or 10 years? Do they get a percentage refunded to them? No. The insurance company keeps every cent of it. We pay for a service that we don't use, if we use it it gets more expensive, they then decide when you attempt to use it if you even qualify for the full amount, and if you don't use if you get to keep paying and you don't get any money back. No wonder people try and scam insurance companies all the time, insurance companies scam their clients every day.


This one is new to me because I just bought a home this past year, but I don't like this one either. You can't buy a home without homeowner's insurance the way you can't buy a car without car insurance. And it pretty much covers nothing that happens to your home. Our homeowner's insurance is like $1300 a year (or something like that).

When we bought this house, there were two ginormous trees in the backyard that hung over the house. I figured that they were ok because if there was a hurricane and one fell on the house and there was any significant damage that the homeowner's would cover it. Nope. When I called to make sure it wouldn't be a problem I was told that "storm damage isn't covered." Right. So now I have to pay $1000 to have these two humongous trees cut down on the off chance that they will fall onto the house during a storm because insurance doesn't cover it. Know what else homeowner's insurance doesn't cover?

Termite damage.

So when you wake up and find bugs all over your kitchen and you don't know if the insides of your walls have been a lucnh buffet for the past 50 years or not, insurance won't cover having a wall cut open to check for damage, and they also won't pay for the exterminator bill when they have to come to your house and drill holes to put poison termite foam into your walls and foundation. They also don't pay to have those tiles in the floor replaced or the holes in the wall spackled.

Then I was discussing this with my Aunt and she explained to me that she had a shatter proof glass patio table blow over, and had an awning get ripped down both in the same wind storm. She called the Homeowner's insurance to file a claim to be told that they would not cover it because it was an act of God. Yup, an act of God.

Because God wants to play sick games with people's patio furniture to see if he can blow it over all the way from Heaven.

So this wind storm that was an act of God and definitely not an act of nature didn't qualify for insurance and oh yeah, raised her rates. What? Raised her rates? Yeah you heard right. She was told by the insurance company that when you file a homeowner's claim, even if they tell you your problem isn't covered under the insurance, it counts as a mark against you and your rates go up. Uh huh.

Anyone else out there think they are being scammed? Like I said before, please leave comments and e-mail this post to a friend. Maybe together we can make a difference. Don't forget to leave your e-mail address so that I can get a petition together to send to Washington. (or at least try to) Tomorrow Part 2 will be coming with my breakdown of Medical and Life insurance.

Friday, July 08, 2005

I know, I Know

Right now I am in Ocean City Maryland and I haven't had any time to post. I just got 5 free minutes so I thought I would update you on the two funniest things I have seen so far.

Funny Thing #1 : Saw a bus with an advertisement on it for Hood College, with a motto of "A Great Place to be Smart." No I am not kidding.

Funny Thing #2 : Saw a chicken place called "Big Pecker's Chicken".

Be back on Monday....

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy 4th of July

I totally suck, but I promise to put alot more posts up this week. I have been extremely busy/lazy and haven't written in almost two weeks. Believe me when I tell you I have plenty to tell you about, like how my insurance company denied me my refill prescription for prevacid, something I have now been on for 4 months, because I apparently have become too old and they say I am past the age where they cover it. Uh huh. Here is my favorite part. I have not had a birthday since the last time I filled this prescription. Right. So I have all of a sudden become too old for a medicine that I need and have been taking without a problem for four months without having a birthday. I will keep you closely updated on how this unfolds when I A) try and have the pharmacy explain how this could happen and B) rip the insurance company a new one. (Not to mention the fact that I have been wanting to write a big article about why insurance companys suck for like a week but hadn't had time.) This will just be more fuel for the fire. Until tomorrow, Grandma Out.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Pick up lines that should go into retirement

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.

My friends over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

Hey do you live on a chicken farm? You're really good at raising cocks.

Lets play Pearl Harbor, I lay down and you blow me to heaven.

I'm no weather man but the forecast is calling for several inches tonight!

The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted?

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

When God made you, he was showing off.

Man: Do you like to dance?
Woman: Yes !
Man: Well then could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?